As if we needed more proof that student loan companies are evil

It was reported this week that the nation's largest sudent loan provider, Sallie Mae, has agreed to pay $2 million into a fund to educate high school students about their student loan options. Of course, they wouldn't do this out of the goodness of their cold, black, shriveled corporate heart; they're doing it to resolve an investigation into their shady loan practices by New York attorney general Andrew Cuomo.

I particularly loved this bit of spin:

In a statement on its Web site, Sallie Mae said that it “cooperated with this inquiry since its inception, and, as the industry leader, we have been confident throughout that our policies and procedures would stand tall.”

Oh really? The exemplary policies and procedures that got you to pony up $2 million dollars to get the New York Attorney General to stop looking into those amazingly wonderful policies any further?

I could buy a nice condo or small house in a quaint town for what I owe Sallie Mae in student loans. I have been relatively lucky in my dealings with them so far (others, not so much), but it is still my dream to win the lottery, hire several semi trucks to haul the sum of my debt to them in nickels, drop them off at the door of their payment processing center, and make them count every last coin like the money grubbers they are. There's your payment, bitches.